But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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