So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think your dad took our porno
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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