thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
