Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
