I wish I could punch you in the face.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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