Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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