i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
