You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Did you pee in the oven last night??
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
