Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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