That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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