when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
