Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize