i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
