I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
