your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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