The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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