I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize