Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She bit a glass in half.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
