I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
