She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
