if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
