32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize