Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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