In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
