my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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