Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
