I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
