Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize