i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
