walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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