high people should be assigned attendants
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
