Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
