my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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