how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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