nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
