He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
There's even glitter on my cock...
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