You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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