it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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