ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
