It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
