is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
