so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
