just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
