Buhtt sex?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
