so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
