That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
