I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
