he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize