Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Boobs speak an international language.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
