Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
