He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize