You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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