i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
