No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize