Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
