Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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