I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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