It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
