There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
