was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
