I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
