He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
