well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
