i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
