You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
