you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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