I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
