Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
