GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
