Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
