After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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