Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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