I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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