If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'd cum for enchiladas.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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