I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
