god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize