i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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